10 weeks, today

I'm 10 weeks pregnant, today. Hey, every day counts, trust me. At least for me anyway. I'm not the best pregnant woman to be around. 7 years ago when I was pregant with Zoe, I was miserable. Tired, sick, uncomfortable, HOT (that's what I get for going through pregnancy in the dead summer in Florida), and just plain wanting the pregnancy to end. In a good way, of course. With a healthy and happy baby ... but just to be over. She was stubborn and I ended up being induced a week after her duedate. After 22.5 hours of labor, she was here, finally. You know, you expect the immediate bond a mother should have for her children. But after 22.5 hours, I was exhausted, full of rushing hormones, and frankly just not wanting to be bothered. I had a LOT of guilt for not feeling what I thought I should with my happy, healthy baby girl. When it was all over with, I ended up in my room on the maternity floor at 11:30pm. I chose not to breastfeed with her, mainly because I was a single mom and had to go back to work as soon as I possibly could, and just didn't know how I would handle that and breastfeeding. (Now I know it's not so bad, and that it can be done. Then, I was naieve, I guess). So they asked if I wanted her with me, or in the nursery. I opted for the nursery. At 5:45am, they brought her in to me and from that point on, she's been the joy of my life. There may not have been the immediate bond that I thought there would be, but the day after I had her, we laid in the hospital bed and cuddled, snuggled, and bonded. I'll never forget that day. Zoe's now 7 and a half yrs old.

Bring pregnant with Holden was much different. Zoe was already 5 and in school, and it had been a while since I had gone through the "joys" of prenancy. With him, I was still extremely tired, sick, and uncomfortable. See: not the best pregnant woman to be around. I found out at 24 weeks that I had gestational diabetes. What a new experience that was. I went through diabetes education and met with a nutritionist who helped me develop a diet. She said that "most" women can keep the diabetes under control with diet alone. Well, no such luck for me. My sugars were out of control, so the next step was to see a perinatologist who specialized in pregnancy and diabetes. First, he tried an oral medication (Gliburide). Didn't work. Next came the insulin injections. Morning & night. It wasn't working either though, and they had to create a cocktail of 2 different insulin meds - a fast acting and slow acting. Getting the right doses was difficult, to say the least. We never did get things under control completely, and I went in for bi-weekly stress tests to make sure he wasn't getting so big that he was running out of room. They monitored his heartbeat and kick count. The doctor scheduled a c-section because they estimated him at at least 9 lbs. (this was at my 38 week ultrasound). He was born a week later and weighed in at 9lbs. 13ozs. Going through the c-section was strange. Knowing they were cutting me open, and not feeling a thing. Strage. I remember hearing him cry and letting out a big sigh of relief. I remember when they wheeled me out of the OR, they put him on my chest and the kid felt like he weight 20 lbs. His blood sugar was really low after birth, so they had to immediately feed him 4 ozs. of formula to get his sugar up. He regulated and ended up just fine. He's happy, and healthy and a joy to be around. I did choose to breastfeed him, by the way. He's now 2 months shy of being 2 years old.

Dietrich always wanted 1 more child. I wasn't so sure after the last pregnancy with the diabetes, insuline, stress tests, c-section, etc. But, lo and behold, 10 weeks ago, we made another little one. I was actually shocked at the pregnancy test results. But, happy nonetheless. Nervous though. Nervous that this pregnancy will be like the last. That I would be ... of course, tired, sick, uncomfortable. Well, so far, I'm tired (that's for sure). But, not so much sick. Little bouts of nausea, but nothing...NOTHING compared to the last 2. I had my first appointment with the perinatologist yesterday. I have a regular OB/GYN and a high-risk doctor because of the problems with diabetes last time. Oh, and because of my "advanced maternal age" as the doc says. I had to go through the diabetes education again, and we created a high protein, low-card diet again, because I've been checking my sugar for a week now and apparently already showing signs of the gestational diabetes. The doctor was worried that I could already be a Type 2 diabetic and didn't know it. But, blood tests showed that's not the case. Yet. It's the pregnancy hormones that are causing the high sugar levels, at least for now. So, we'll follow the diet to a "T", and we'll do what we need to do to make sure this kid isn't another 10 pounder and that it's healthy. And that mama's healthy, of course. Hopefully we can steer away from the insulin this time around, as the giving myself shots again makes me shudder. This will, however, be another scheduled c-section.

Regardless, here's baby #3 and the conclusion of our little family. Although my kids are my greatest joy, this is it for me. I will definitely make sure of that!