YES!!

So, I sent this to a friend of mine as an update on our DAN! appointment today. I realized I needed to add it here, too.

The appointment went well. I realized a LOT today. Remember a few weeks back (3/26, to be exact), when I sent you that message and I was just so down about things? That Holden was stimming nonstop and staying up late and regressing and I just couldn't figure out what was going on with him? What I was doing wrong, etc? Well. I have a friend in Orlando who's son went to the same ABA clinic as Holden. We became friends and have kept in touch and she told me a while back that her son would have these episodes of "regression", and then once it was over, he would always make these huge leaps in progress. She realized they were "healing regressions". That during chelation, his body was dumping metals and toxins into his blood stream and causing him to feel horrible (thus, the stimmy, not sleeping, irritability, etc...). And once he was able to rid his body of those loose metals/toxins, he would come out of it and make those great leaps and bounds in development. I understood what she was saying ... but didn't really understand, ya know? So, it hit me today. This is what happened with Holden. It has to be. It was HORRIBLE this last time around (the week of 3/22-3/27). I felt hopeless, helpless. But, in the past 2 weeks or so, I've seen some major improvements. Major. And, in the last 3-4 days, I've just had this feeling. This "gut" feeling, if you want to call it that. The feeling is ... I just KNOW he's going to be okay. I know it. I feel it. I sense it. I see him, now. He looks at me and I can see him, and he smiles and I know that he's coming back. I told my husband 2 nights ago that I just know in my heart that he is going to be okay. That we are going to get him back and he's going to be OKAY.

So. We saw Dr. Rao today and he asked me how he was doing. I said "I'm cautiously optimistic because he's been doing great over the past few weeks." Holden was in the room, sitting on the floor, talking to himself. He looked up at Dr. Rao and Dr. Rao looked at him, and then Holden said "Hi". Then he started talking to himself. Dr. Rao pointed to him and said to me "THAT is an excellent sign." I said ... "what do you mean, what's an excellent sign?" And she said that the way he was talking to himself ... using consonant/vowel combinations, and singing to himself - that it was an excellent sign. He said that in the thousands of children he's seen, he's seen that many times in children who RECOVER. He said that the progress he's making and what I've described and what he sees himself ... that he feels he's beginning to finally heal the inflamation in his brain and beginning the healing/recovery process. He said that fortunately, there are those children who do begin to heal/recover and from his experience, they do not go backwards. They continue to progress over time. And, unfortunately, there are those kids who just never hit that point of beginning to heal/recover.

He said .... recovery. recover. heal.

I could've kissed the man!!!! And almost did.

We had a blood draw to check his liver function (because he's on daily anti-fungal medication, which can be unusually harsh on the liver), and we did an IV 'push' of glutathione - which is a natural anti-oxidant. Kids with autism have very low levels of glutathione.

Holden didn't cry once. Didn't scream, or fight me. He sat in my lap and said "no", but that was it. They sprayed him with a numbing spray and he just watched a movie and was the bravest little boy.

We're continuing the chelation every week. It's working. Something's working. Maybe it's the chelation. Maybe it's the ABA therapy at school. Maybe it's the many people praying for him. Maybe it's a combination of all of it? Either way, I'm not willing to stop any of it.

I know there will be days. I know he will regress. It happens. It needs to happen to heal his body further. And, I know there will be days when I'll send you "woe is me" messages and need a little extra support from anyone I can get it from. But, right now? Today? I'm going to just take it all in and I'm just soooo incredibly thankful that a doctor AGREES with me. He sees it, too. He's given me more hope and motivated me even more.

A doctor is giving me hope. Wow. What a great idea!!!