the kids

I'll be 20 weeks tomorrow. This pregnancy is flying by. I guess because I'm so busy with everything else. I'm feeling a little more movement than I was last week. So, although he's not as active as Holden was ... he's giving me a few kicks here and there to let me know he's still in there!

Holden starts week 4 of therapy this week. He's doing well with the therapy, but I can't help but feel helpless on the days when he doesn't have thearpy. Like I should be doing so much more than I am, but don't know how. My best friend lives in CA and she put me in touch with a friend of hers whose son was diagnosed a few years ago. He's now 6. I spoke to her last night on the phone and she gave me some valuable information about the biomedical approach to autism. Her son has never received therapy (ABA, Speech, OT, etc.). He's doing great now and she explained in detail things like supplements, chelation therapy, etc. I've contacted a DAN doctor in Tampa and we're just waiting to save the money for an initial consultation. I'm willing to do whatever I can to help my son. In the meantime, we'll continue with the therapy and hope for the best.

Zoe went to spend the night with her grandmother on Saturday night. She took her to an Easter program that was, apparently, pretty graphic. She enjoyed it. However, now she's "scared of the devil". We had conversation after conversation about this yesterday and just when you think she's okay ... she's not. She won't walk into another room without one of us. She won't sleep in a room without one of us. Even with the TV on, lights on, and dog with her. It sounds silly, but she is genuinely scared. Like, shaking scared. I feel for her, but really don't know what to do at this point. My husband says she has to face her fears and be alone in a room so that she can see that nothing is going to "happen" to her. I know he's probably right, but I can't leave her when she's so frightened. It sucks. No more church programs for her - at least not until she's older!

Oh, and since April is National Autism Awareness month, my sister-in-law bought me a bracelet with an Autism ribbon and a heart that says "together, we can make a difference".