11.15.2007

defeated

I feel defeated. I do. It sucks. The reality is that I will never give up this fight to help my son. BUT. And that's a big BUT. We were scheduled to have a new ABA therapist come over tonight. 1st appointment. She didn't show. WTF people? I want to scream and cry and punch someone.

THIS is the reason I'm even more determined to become a Behavior Analyst. I'm starting classes in January. I know what it feels like to get shit service for your kid who sits and waits for what he deserves. I told Dietrich tonight - PLEASE remind me when I have my own company what it feels like to not call a family, or not show up for an appointment. Remind me what it feels like when you feel defeated. Because right now, I feel defeated. And it sucks ass.

1 comment:

Rachael said...

I finally had the time to sit and read your entire blog. I swear to you it feels like it is a the story of Gavin, and my feelings. We are about 6 months ahead of you as far as diagnosis goes. Still I struggle each day. I beat myself up over his Autism. Wondering if I do enough for him.
All we can do is what we can do you know? You are so awesome to be proactive Rhonda. Holden is so damn lucky to have you. Some autistic kids out there have parents who ignore the fact that they have it. I know two ladies right now who are in denial. You are taking this head on and doing what you can for him.
You have every right to be pissed off too. You have every right to be sad. Its such an unfair lot in life. I really believe that Holden is going to grow up to be a spectacular person. There is no doubt in my mind that he will be everything you had hoped he would before Autism entered your life. Just believe that.
Hang in there and know that I am always here if you need to bitch (even if it takes me a year to email you back HA!)