true joy

Today Holden was at the clinic for ABA. I usually drop him off and run errands and come back 2 hours later to pick him up. Sometimes I stay in the waiting room, sometimes I go back and watch so that I can learn. Today, I went in to pick him up about 15 minutes early and sat in the waiting room. He came out the door in the little flintstone car he likes so much and I didn't say anything. I wanted to see if he would notice me. He did more than notice me. He turned and saw me...smiled with those dimples of his, got out of the car, said "mama!!" and came over to give me a hug. I can't even begin to describe the way it felt. You wait so long, and then one day it happens. You finally know that he realizes you are mama. And he loves me. I could see it on his face and how excited he was to see me. I'll never stop fighting to bring him back to us.