bad day

Although I watched Oprah last night with Jenny McCarthy and Holly Robinson-Peete, it hasn't helped me with the day I've had today. It's not really Holden. That's some of it. But, juggling the baby and him and everything is just wearing me thin today. Not much sleep last night, as Jackson was up from 1-3:30am. Holden's extra "stimmy" today. I don't know, maybe it's because I slacked off and didn't order his L-Carnosine on time. He's gone 2 days without it now. Which isn't good. Or, maybe it's because his dad is still gone on business (but will be home last night, thank GOD). Or maybe the change in routine - things have been a bit different for us in the past few days, with it being just me here. And, of course, I'm sure he can sense the stress coming from me. Trust me, I'm leaking stress. It's leaking from every pore in my body. I hate myself on days like this - Im' just angry at the world and it not only affects me. But it affects my kids, too.

So, I gotta get out of this slump. Somehow.

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